Let’s become the light

Reality isn’t real anyways

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Scars that learned to glow. Writing to the little girl I used to be, and to every outcast still finding their way home. Trauma, truth, and quiet rebellion.

  • The child inside remembers

    THE CHILD WITHIN REMEMBERS

    Hiding as a form of protection.

    Protection from a current threat or from an experience once lived. The body remembers, sending one back to that time, that place, and that response — not fully knowing that the threat no longer exists.

    A response, a behavior learned as a young child who is trying to survive. She’s protecting herself from what she once knew to be harmful, unsafe, and unwanted. The child within remembers. She remembers the pain, the suffering, and at times returns to that state — shutting down, disconnecting, scared. All she is trying to do now is protect herself from reliving that trauma.

    She remembers the threat and what it felt like as a young girl, so she goes into hiding. Silencing her voice. Freezing, numbing out, and releasing herself from an unimaginable past.

    Triggered by the slightest tone, eye contact, and phrase… or worse yet, by love and attention. Which is what she has longed for, for so long. Love, connection, and being seen — sending her into hiding, uncovering what she has hidden from herself and others for protection.

    She goes inward to the little girl that survived. A little girl who is scared, angry, resentful, and uncertain of how to love and how to trust. The little girl who has held onto so much to protect herself and others is now given the freedom to release, express, and begin to know the little girl who blesses life with joy, happiness, laughter, and love.

    Who speaks clearly, is heard, and seen. Who no longer hides and instead shines brightly and radiantly.

    This little girl is beginning to come out of hiding in darkness, entering and filling with light. Surrounded by love allows her to practice receiving and offering love. She feels a sense of relief, less tension held in her body. Beginning to speak her truth where before she was scared and frozen to speak her words.

    This little girl who was once trapped in hiding allows herself to emerge and be seen. Learning how to connect, love, and speak her truth. She ebbs and flows through this journey as she discovers her triggers, moves through the uncomfortable, and acknowledges the hurt, pain, and suffering she once experienced.

    Discovering that she no longer has to feel and be a victim. She begins to believe she too gets to be safe, free, and loved.

  • Survivors

    I Am Stronger

    I am stronger than you think.

    You thought you could break me in half,

    Shatter my soul and leave me alone,

    But you didn’t count on my will to transcend.

    I am stronger than you understand.

    You cannot break me.

    The fire that burns within my soul,

    The resilience that sets me apart from the rest.

    I am stronger than you know.

    Fallen, though continuously getting up again.

    Bruised and battered, yet never defeated.

    My soul remains unbroken, my heart still beating.

    I am stronger than you acknowledge.

    I have gone through things you couldn’t endure,

    Things you couldn’t even imagine.

    The weight of the world and the darkness that settles around me—

    I am stronger than you recognize.

    I am no one’s victim.

    A warrior and a survivor.

    My heart is forged in fire,

    My strength is molded from steel.

    I am stronger.

    I will forever be a survivor.

  • Wasn’t ever ‘mine’ then

    It Wasn’t Yours to Take

    It wasn’t yours to take, but you took it anyway.

    I didn’t want to give, but I couldn’t get away.

    When you blamed me for what happened,

    I believed it was my mistake.

    When you said you didn’t mean to hurt me,

    I pretended it was okay.

    You said no one would believe me,

    that it wouldn’t matter once it was done.

    I can only hope… I was the only one.

    You told me I wanted it, even as I kept saying no.

    You smiled like a wolf when I tried to let go.

    How did “if you want, we can try” ever sound like a yes?

    The next day you tossed me aside

    like a broken toy —

    you’d gotten what you wanted.

    Now I scream in silence at the memory

    of your car, your fancy home,

    the moment you stole what was never yours to take.

    My body still doesn’t feel like mine.

    Every inch marked by your eyes.

    How do I give to someone else

    when you took what was mine?

    #ItWasntYoursToTake #SexualAssaultSurvivor #RapeSurvivor #MyBodyMyChoice #TraumaHealing #AbuseSurvivor #SurvivorStrong #HealingJourney #NarcissisticAbuse #YouTookWhatWasntYours #ConsentIsEverything #BreakTheSilence #PoetryForHealing

  • I am tired

    Tired.

    I’m tired.

    ’m Tired

    I’m tired of the fight just to keep existing.

    I’m tired of being tired.

    I’m tired of pretending I’m okay,

    tired of performing,

    tired of running at 100mph and going nowhere.

    I’m tired of staying busy helping everyone else

    just so I don’t have to face myself.

    I’m tired of the flashbacks that steal my peace.

    I’m tired of not feeling enough.

    I’m tired of questioning my own sanity.

    I’m tired of being the scapegoat for other people’s trauma.

    I’m tired of feeling everything so deeply,

    tired of tearing myself apart with overthinking,

    tired of carrying shame that was never mine.

    I don’t want to give up…

    and I won’t.

    I just want to rest for a while.

    I’m tired.